Pet Loss

Pet Loss

The death of a pet is an intensely sorrowful and painful event. The grieving is often as intense and painful as the grieving over the loss of a human loved one. Many people don't understand the degree of significance pets have in the lives of pet owners, and just how very deep a loving bond there can be.

Pet owners grieving for the death of a beloved animal companion often don't have their grief accepted and validated by others, at least not for long. Many friends, family members and acquaintances don't understand when a person is grieving intensely over the death of a pet, and understand even less when the grief continues for months after the death a pet. Callous comments such as, "Well, you can get a new cat/dog," or, "It was just a cat," are then sometimes said. Those grieving for the loss of their pet are sometimes considered to be getting carried away, maybe even a bit "crazy". Worse, the person grieving for their pet can come to accept the views of some other people that it is not normal or correct to be so upset about the death of an animal, and question their own feelings and reactions.

Grief is a normal, unavoidable reaction to the loss of any loved one. Grief is a very healthy psychological response that requires expression and acknowledgement. No two people experience grief the exact same way, or for the same length of time. Denying or suppressing feelings of grief can sometimes actually prolong the healing process.

Since no one understands the feelings of the loss of pet as well as others who have lost a pet, or who have a deep bond with their current pets, those are the best people to share your feelings with. Internet forums/discussion groups related to pets can sometimes be the best place to share your feelings, as the members of such groups do understand and many have experienced the death of a pet. W. V. Cats has a forum with a Support section, as do many other pet forums.

Books About Death of Pets for Children

The death of a pet can be a devastating event for adults, but sometimes it is even more so for children. The death of a pet is often a child's first experience with the loss of a loved one, and they have difficulty handling the conflicting feelings. It is best to allow children to process and experience their grief after the death of a pet, rather than immediately getting a new pet. It is important for children to work through their grief. A new pet won't make them not feel badly any longer over the death of the first pet anyway. Here are books to help children deal with pet loss and to help open dialog with parents or other adults about death.

Click on the titles or book picture to get to the page with more details and to purchase the books.

For Every Cat an Angel (Hardcover)

, by Christine Davis

In this story, every cat has a guardian angel and the guardian angel helps it find it's forever person. When a cat is at the end of it's earthly life it becomes a "forever cat" and rejoins it's angel. This book also describes how your "forever cat" wants you to be happy even if it means bringing a new cat into your life.

Also available, For Every Dog an Angel

Cat Heaven (Hardcover)

, by Cynthia Rylant

PreSchool-Grade 2

This book uses rhyming text to describe a realm in which cats are fed from God's countertop, where there are thousands of toys, and soft angel laps in which to cuddle. This book serves to provide comfort for children mourning a lost pet.

Also available, Dog Heaven

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney, by Judith Viorst

Ages 4-8

A little boy's cat Barney dies. The family has a backyard burial, and as part of honoring Barney, the child thinks of 10 good things about Barney. This story conveys that death is part of the life cycle. It leaves open what happens to a being after death in the spiritual sense, to allow dialog between adults and children as fits their religious beliefs.

Spirit Dogs: Heroes In Heaven, by Susan Kelleher

The narrator and her dog make a trip to heaven after a car accident, but the narrator is told it is not her time and she must go back to earth, leaving her dog in heaven. This is a story of the sadness of loss and the acceptance of the peace that comes with the knowledge that such a loss leads us to another plain of reality.

When a Pet Dies,

by Fred Rogers

Ages 4-8

An illustrated book about a child's feelings of the death of a pet cat, by the beloved Mr. Rogers of the children's television show "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood". This book reassures children that grieving is a natural and healing process, and that no matter how much they hurt at the time of their loss, their hurt will ease.

I'll Always Love You, by Hans Wilhelm

Preschool- Grade 2

This story is about Elfie, a dachshund, and her special boy as they go through life together, until one day, Elfie's life is over. Staying away from any particular religious stance on death, this story provides comfort on the death of a pet.

Pet Loss Books for Adults

The Loss of a Pet: New Revised and Expanded Edition

, by Wallace Sife, Ph.D.

Written by a psychotherapist and the founder of the Association for Pet Bereavement, this book addresses the pet owner whose grief at a pet's death is largely misunderstood or even ridiculed by friends, associates and society in general.

Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost a Pet, by Greg Kowalski

Coping With Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet (Paperback), by Moira K. Anderson

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